Ok, i hate the do-no-evil-do-evils racist spineless goyim that is Google but they do have some useful stuff. So if you have a Google account or simply a spare mobile number (not previously associated with a Google account) then go to https://colab.research.google.com/ and log-in. They will put in your face a payment plan without showing you the free version so click away from this (i can’t quite remember how i did it – experiment). Then when you are on the ‘Welcome to Colaboratory’ page choose File > New notebook and rename it or not as you like.

Optional: get a YubiKey from Yubico. Even if you don’t know what to do with it now it is worth having on your key ring and on your person just in case. If you decide to protect this Colab Google account with it, for Advanced Protection Programme you’ll need to provide a recovery email and phone number. But you can just use the Security Key option, toggle off the option to not-require logging in with password and when, after touching your YubiKey, you are asked by Google for its hardware info say no.